i don’t buy that most cheating is about novelty as such 🤔 i tend to assume it’s about gunk that builds up in the relationship that you don’t know how to clear. no gunk with a new person
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TLP says it something like, a new person is someone you might be able to fool into seeing you how you want to be seen. the person you’ve been in a committed relarionship with for years knows too much about you to be fooled
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generally speaking i don’t really buy that people have an intrinsic desire for novelty
I mean you can synthesize these things – what is appealing about novelty is the promise of escape and newness. people don’t want new things they want to get away from old things but from the outside it looks the same
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The pattern I’m describing is -
1. start a relationship
2. enjoy the good times and good vibes
3. accumulate “debt” from bad times and bad vibes
4. fail to address the debt; either avoid it or mishandle it
5. ditch the whole thing to repeat the pattern with someone else
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all the studies cited under “empirical evidence” are in rats 🤔
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