portrait of enneagram 9 trying to access deeply repressed anger (2021)
Conversation
friends, help me out, please send me your best threads on the topic
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my current progress is that I only have access to memories of past rage when I'm in a half asleep state late at night or early in the morning
sometimes in this state I get a snippet of a vision of my teenage self screaming in a locked room within my psyche
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have you tried screaming? i like screaming
also reflecting on things that strike me as deeply unjust, like specific people i care about getting hurt
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I don't currently have access to anywhere I can scream, it's top of my list
And I think I use a different emotion for indignation, somehow? I think I repurposed sadness/distress for it.
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Replying to
huh. how do you feel about your capacity for violence? any access to e.g. fantasizing about fighting bad guys?
Replying to
I, uhh, fantasize about taking bad guys down gently and quietly using social manipulation, ostracization and politics and they don't even know what hit them
absolute enneagram 9 stereotypes🤷♀️
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karmic takedowns are the most unfightable indeed 🙇♂️