Conversation

honestly my self absorption is such a debilitating flaw, I spend 60-70% of my time just thinking about myself and my relationships and how I relate and understand the world
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if I cared less abt what I thought, I think I would spend my time more productively + more pro-socially, like watching squid game so I can talk abt it w/ ppl / write a review or like actually keep up w: my online class & attend office hours
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and also i’m just nursing a painful strain in my calf that I got from trying to stuff my foot into $550 bimba y lola astronaut boots one fine Sunday afternoon for the lols
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also i wish i were the type of person that could just learn to internalise lessons & improve on models iteratively. instead, i just think in circles and come up with many possible models which i then forget - convenient, so i can waste more time thinking about them again !
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one thing I’ve been trying to do of late is recording realisations in my diary because i realise I keep thinking abt the same things), so now i’m trying to catch myself thinking abt the same thing & asking myself if I think the realisation will be different.
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if the answer is no then I should spend that time thinking about something else, or just putting some music on or something
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but here i am again taking on this digital stage just talking about myself again thank you thank you throw me some tomatoes
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