sometimes if i sit around or lie down doing nothing long enough i experience a thing i’m not sure i know a word for. like an interruption in my self-consciousness or self-experience? a discontinuity in my tracking of what is going on? anyone know what i mean?
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i’m used to that thing being continuous so it’s weird to experience it even temporarily shut off. i might just be falling asleep, not sure. i don’t think that’s always what’s happening tho
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like okay right now i’m aware that time is passing and i’m also sort of building a continuous strand of memory, like i remember roughly what i waa doing 5 minutes ago and it feels like 5 minutes have passed and so on. sometimes those experiences get interrupted...
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan and @meditationstuff
can you explain more what you mean by interruption/discontinuity? Like what is the experience of it like that would lead you to use those words to describe it?
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...and then i feel like i “come back online” starting a fresh strand of memory that isn’t connected to the previous one, and there’s a gap in my memory and my awareness of time passing. again, simplest explanation is that i’m just falling asleep lol
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i still don’t think i’m always falling asleep tho - when i fall asleep my throat usually hurts afterwards b/c of sleep apnea and my throat usually doesn’t hurt after this thing happens
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hmm suggests “zoning out” that’s good that’s like a nice normal boring word, let’s go with that
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I read about this and it's very common for people with PTSD: just to space out and completely lose time.
Of course it could be a lot more benign but I'd check it out with a therapist if it's anything like that.
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I see it as this sudden meta-self-awareness. It’s like you’re so engrossed in living out the narrative you’ve created for yourself, and you suddenly whisk yourself out of it and allow yourself to observe.
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Idt it’s the same as meditation, it’s less observe your thoughts and more no thoughts just vibes, at least for me.
Often accompanied by feelings of absurdity/ amusement at the hustle bustle of usual life
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