i.e. the things happened ongoingly, not as a one-off
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i want my brothers to believe in me and my strength and encourage me to cultivate it, and i want them to know that neither their nor my strength is infinite and hoping/praying to be spared certain ordeals doesn't make anyone less of a man or a brother
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yeah that all makes sense. i want to communicate a thing about playfulness but i'm not sure how because now we're already in a really non-playful register. like i intended the initial tweet as like "haha wouldn't it be kinda funny if" not "i sincerely wish this doom upon thee"
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that's what i was trying to get at with this message. it feels like the whole thing equivocates between playfulness and not (i get this probably part of the intended playfulness)
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Replying to @quotidiania and @QiaochuYuan
lol i want to simultaneously convey "it's not a huge deal" and that i'm serious about no-curses-from-friends 
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to keep it as simple as possible i'll say: i prefer people to be careful about what they wish/predict for me, even as playful taps, until we've established enough rapport that i can know all the way down that they really are just playing
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you keep saying "wish" and i keep wanting to make a strong distinction between "wanting" and "wishing." loosely speaking i think i have control over what i wish for you but i don't have control over what i want
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hmm that distinction makes sense to me, sure
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i think this is mostly a misjudgment of rapport, honestly. i think i get what you were going for, and it's totally fine in my book for part of you to want that for me (hell part of me probably wants it)
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i'm too tired rn to say the further thing which is smtg like: it's different for you to sort of elevate that part of yourself that wants that vs. me doing the same, because i can prevent that part from externalizing its wishes but i can't directly prevent that from you
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i'm not quite sure how to parse this but do you mean like "part of me is now afraid of the possibility that you will actually in reality attempt to steal a girl from me to teach me a lesson" or something like that? (because if so that was not on my radar in the slightest)
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(and your reaction would make a lot more sense to me this way)