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sasha
@softminus
dissociating
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DR22 Ω 🦾
@DejaRu22
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One of the richest guys in the world ($100B+) says the following, “The thing you do obsessively between 13 and 18 years old, that’s the thing you have the most chance being world class at.” What’s your answer? Mine: Social engineering :-)
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sasha
@softminus
when i was a child i dissociated so consistently while misaiming/defocusing my eyes that i never let form the binocular fusion mechanism that synthesizes a coherent image – i thought that "binocular vision" meant "you see two of everything" because i had never had anything else
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sasha
@softminus
i dont know exactly what was happening to me as a child such that "destroying a critical function of V1 *with thoughts*" was preferable to being present — but i fixed earlier this year by booping 5HT2A. thank you 5HT2A receptors and 5HT2A agonists. you're both such good friends.
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sasha
@softminus
also feeling the binocular fusion mechanism refactoring itself is such a peerlessly strange qualia, doubly so while driving on Los Angeles freeways. there were times when my visual field was completely fucked in a way that evades description, had to close one eye to keep driving
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sasha
@softminus
like. there are mechanisms that recognize surfaces/edges/motion and transform them into mental representations of objects/textures/distances and having these things change how they operate / how their outputs are wired *while driving* is one hell of an experience lmao
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sasha
@softminus
i wasnt even on a 5HT2A agonist (the last time i had taken one was like two weeks before!!); the refactoring process just was taking time heh
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sasha
@softminus
anyway i have glasses prescriptions with 11 fucking prism diopters specified from the first time an optometrist noticed i had double vision (i thought that thats how all humans saw the world) and i never wore them because holy shit, the chromatic abberation made vision unusable
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sasha
@softminus
anyway it turns out that once i started aiming my eyes correctly and letting my visual cortex learn binocular fusion (thanks to a medium dose of acid) i dont actually need 11 prism diopters in my glasses lmao
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