yeah i'd have failed
Conversation
you know that thing Cain says to God: "my punishment is too great for me to bear"
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and not only would i have failed but everyone would agree that i'd failed
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as a man
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to elaborate: i think people would tell me forever that it was because i either wasn't attractive enough as a man, or that i picked wrong because of my desperation/desire for a relationship - and i'd have to live with that, forever
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it might even be true! which only makes it more unbearable
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is it bad that now i kinda want this to happen to you so you get to find out what it actually feels like 😅
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honestly that hurts pretty badly that you'd want that to happen to me
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maybe i phrased it poorly - i mean i think there’d be something refreshing about getting to actually experience it and survive it and overcome it, instead of it staying this unknowable infinitely bad hypothetical bogeyman
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yeah i get it, and i agree that's true. still, i don't want my friends to wish things like that on me - it's not an allied thing to do, imo
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Replying to
i don’t agree but fair enough, i’ll try to remember for the future
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i think we maybe missed each other here. anyway if you do have these thoughts please continue to share them in convos like this, AND i also hope at the deepest level you'd prefer i get what i want without having to experience that suffering
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i suppose one could argue who cares what QC prefers at the deepest level? but for friends, i do think it matters
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