yeah okay so that might happen and you might not be able to do anything about it. and then... that would presumably mean something about you right?
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yeah i'd have failed
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you know that thing Cain says to God: "my punishment is too great for me to bear"
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and not only would i have failed but everyone would agree that i'd failed
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as a man
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to elaborate: i think people would tell me forever that it was because i either wasn't attractive enough as a man, or that i picked wrong because of my desperation/desire for a relationship - and i'd have to live with that, forever
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it might even be true! which only makes it more unbearable
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is it bad that now i kinda want this to happen to you so you get to find out what it actually feels like 😅
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honestly that hurts pretty badly that you'd want that to happen to me
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maybe i phrased it poorly - i mean i think there’d be something refreshing about getting to actually experience it and survive it and overcome it, instead of it staying this unknowable infinitely bad hypothetical bogeyman
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like a VR experience or a hallucinogenic vision quest where you get to experience it imaginally would serve the same function plausibly