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This is my #1 mindfuck in dating. I tend to act out stereotypically female-gendered patterns (in some ways), which I'm pretty sure makes me an irredeemable beta cuck according to a lot of people

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Chaotic Guapón

@quotidiania

· Aug 29, 2021

Replying to @AbstractFairy

yeah i so resent being the girl pattern tho, i guess it's because i'm more anxious than avoidant and tend to be attracted to more avoidant than anxious

QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)

@QiaochuYuan

Aug 29, 2021

yo word

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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)

@QiaochuYuan

· Feb 5, 2021

the prototypical complaints that women have about men are complaints about men with dismissive / avoidant attachment, they basically do not apply to men with anxious / preoccupied attachment (who have a totally different set of problems), and not understanding this fucked me up

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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)

@QiaochuYuan

Aug 29, 2021

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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)

@QiaochuYuan

· Feb 5, 2021

anxious attaching men in particular i think are reluctant to talk about their experiences because their problems seem embarrassing and shameful compared to what's in the discourse; because the discourse mostly represents anxious women they seem like "feminine" problems

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Chaotic Guapón

@quotidiania

Aug 29, 2021

thinking about it makes me so mad

Chaotic Guapón

@quotidiania

Aug 29, 2021

like i'm the girl because i want a girl i'm dating to open up to me more or want to spend more time with me

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but like i guess it's true in some sense, it's just fundamentally askew maybe? and so the more avoidant girls are just off-limits for me? idgi

QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)

@QiaochuYuan

Aug 29, 2021

can you expand a bit more on what “i’m the girl” means to you? like are you more afraid of losing respect (or whatever it is) in the eyes of the woman you’re dating, other men, other women, something else?