I have been able to tell the full, true story of what happened, to myself and others, unbroken. I have healed. I feel better every day and the memories of loss and suffering feel farther and farther away.
Conversation
I am whole again.
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I am going to continue a weekly practice of facing fears and insecurities as they come up, working through them with exposure and my 5Fs. There may yet be some grief left to work through. It comes in waves and that's okay. I'm not afraid of it. Shadow is a renewable resource.
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Beyond that, I have begun plans on a project I hope will one day help others recover from trauma and strengthen their self-concept so they can protect themselves and those they love in the future. I'll post more about that project as I develop it.
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I'm going to start wrapping this up. If you take anything away from this, I hope it's this: there is extraordinary healing and power in courage. But finding the courage to face your shadow is not only about you: it's also a moral imperative.
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What abusers do is monstrous, but they're not monsters. They're cowards. If my ex had faced her shadow and done the work, she might have healed her own trauma instead of passing it on to me. We might even still be happily in love, nourishing each other's spirits, as we dreamed.
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You may not have abused anyone, but if you haven't found the courage to confront your demons and wrestle them into integration, then your fear, your rage, your inferiority and shame have power over you, and they can devastate you and the people you love.
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I want to say this, and I mean it: If you are in an abusive situation, or you are ready to start shadow work, or you just feel like you need help or advice or support or held space around any of this stuff. I'm here for you. Reach out to me.
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That offer stands to anyone but especially those who have been abused who can't find help, and those who know they are abusive and want to change, but don't know how. DM me anytime, for anything. I will never judge you, and I'll do what I can to help.
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Thanks for reading. I love you. Please love yourself enough to be courageous, for yours and others' sake. Do the work. Confront your shadow. Don't let fear rule the one life you get. Become whole. Grow and develop into your best possible self.
Everyone is counting on you. 🫀
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