I sense that a lot of people are lowkey mad about how positively has taken everything, ruining their claim that he's a snowflake and also the pervasive theory that getting online hate to your real name is somehow the worst thing that can happen to a person.
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i'm highkey happy; i have shittons of highly dysfunctional feelings about money/career and 's thread has given me energy to dissipate some of the shame around that
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I think it takes a somewhat deranged person to work in e.g. tech and believe the money they receive is somehow totally morally justified.
Many sit at a desk, work mildly, benefitting from luck of the IQ draw, buy little and have a great excess slosh into their bank account.
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ah see that's exactly what i mean. thats exactly the sort of dysfunctional feeling i have. "working in tech should make you morally conflicted".
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dysfunctional feeling, stuck prior; whatever you call it, it's no good to *actually believe this* and make decisions based on it especially if you have strong aversions to moral conflictedness or deep fears of doing something Bad.
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"it's morally Bad to have a tech job or to work towards getting one" is basically what i believed and acted upon for a decade
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it's pretty cursed yeah and still present to some extent, dont quite know what to do about it. i think next time i do psychedelics i'm gonna try to let thoughts come up about that (and not mostly avoid them like the last time i tripped) and see if i can get some annealing going
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what comes to mind rn is i can imagine it being valuable to thoroughly separate out anything that's been introjected / is about other people's judgments, vs. any genuine moral qualms that (parts of) you have about the actual moral impacts of a tech job, as you see them
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yeahhh. though it feels i have so much dysfunctional introjected garbage that it's difficult to see what's actually real. and my way of coping was just to cover all that up with stupidly general stuff like "this is absolutely morally bad" or "nothing i can do is morally bad".
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it's v complicated stuff! layers and layers of introjects tho. and some of them can like. ride in on the coattails of older ones
yeah and they're not independent they're all cursedly crosslinked
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i wonder which psychedelic i should try for this, i've only done 2C-B and a, uh, medium dose (110μg) of acid so far.
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