4/ surprise surprise, this was not sustainable and led me to burn out even sooner
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5/ A week ago my brother died. Thank god I already quit onlyfans, or I'd have to quit now anyways. There's no way I could pretend.
I want to give people something that helps them, not burden them, and I can't do that without pretending.
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6/ Grief is fractal, it pools up in every crevice of the soul.
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7/ Sexiness is an expansive, full body experience, and grief the antithesis of it.
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8/ It's okay that fans, clients, and customers don't want my grief. A lot of them are spending money they've saved, or more importantly, scarce private time they need to rejuvenate.
They're taking care of themselves. I can't help them get what they need when I'm grieving.
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9/ It's a bit of a manic-pixie-dreamgirl sitch. I hear their big problems, and they hear mine only so much as they can help and feel good helping. Shallow problems that can be solved by a thoughtful gift or a magic dick.
Death can't be.
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10/ It's a transactional relationship, and this is okay.
I don't pay my therapist to get their problems dumped on me, that's just not what the deal is.
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11/ In sex work, I provide my authentic self, but only sometimes. It's selective authenticity of my healthy, happy selves that bring joy to others.
Thankfully, I've had a lot of those lately. My life is really great, overall!
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12/ I don't know how long it will take to get back there.
I'm taking time off, time where I have no income, and hoping that I recover my mojo before my savings run dry
It's fine, but it's makes a tough situation tougher to have to cancel everything and pray
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13/ tell the ppl you love that you love them 🙏💙 thanks for reading
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