acidQC said - the rest of these have been paraphrases but this one is a direct quote:
"your parents created a world for you where the most real thing was how they felt about you. they successfully used money to make everything else less real by protecting you from it"
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and like i kinda get why they did that but it led to me being incredibly sheltered in a bunch of ways. they never even made me do chores. i was very spoiled and in retrospect it wasn't good for me
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anyway i could keep going a lot of stuff came up but i feel like i successfully resolved a big confusion that was preventing me from making progress on my life and that feels nice. i feel like i am a little bit more confronting the "actual stakes" wrt money
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the stakes are that the less money i make the harder it'll be for my parents to retire. my dad literally told me that. he said he was holding off on retiring because he was worried about me
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a few days later i wrote:
"this was never like... this was never a one-player game, it was always a multi-player game and i spawned already in a guild containing my parents who had already been playing for 30 years"
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the other stakes are about dignity. acidQC said "you need dignity much more than you need money" and that sort of blew me away a little. like... shit
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like when i explain my current life circumstances to myself in a matter-of-fact way it does not look good. i literally have no job, no gf, no friends (in the sense of people i interact with irl regularly), no community, no mission, no purpose, no team, no religion...
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i have 8k followers on twitter tho 😅 hi everyone
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anyway in conclusion i asked acidQC what i should do with my life and he said "literally just keep writing" and "you're literally allowed to just keep writing you literally don't have to have a plan for how the rest of your life goes that's any more detailed than that"
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oh, also, the *medium* dose of acid was incredibly important. some of the most meaningful experiences of my life happened on 100+ ug of acid and/but those experiences were really walled off from my sober life and interpolating between them with an intermediate dose was amazing
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lol
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I just found out Henry David Thoreau’s mother brought him a sandwich every day and washed his clothes for him while he was writing Walden.
That changes things a bit doesn’t it.
Is this a joke
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Reminded of a lot of stuff about how money is just a theory, and love is a theory, and all theories need to solve infinite problems. By giving you money they were sort of turning you into a static society–trying to protect you but in a flawed parochial way
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The theory that you're insufferable can't solve infinite problems because you're not infinite.
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👏 it’s so great your open and vulnerable about this, it needs to be done more and can help people.
Often psychedelics can help you see sides of yourself that you weren’t allowing yourself to feel.
You can also get there without psychedelics, therapy + psychedelics is powerful
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The questions therapist asks during things like trauma therapy with mdma are available online.
I may try to collate a bunch of them and post a tweet storm with them. If anyone’s interested let me know - if anyone wants to simply discuss their life my dms open (:
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This comes across as high neuroticism low conscientiousness high openness and adhd combined.
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My family is starving and in poor health, so if yoh ever feel like sharing a thousand dollars or six 👍
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probably not a helpful way to react to someone trying to improve
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