fuck this tweet and fuck you twitter.com/Virtual1nstinc
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you don't get to tell me to stop caring about whether i creep women out. it fucking *matters* to me. i *don't wanna fucking do it*. i am *not alone*. i have had a *lot* of private conversations with other men about this. men are *torn up* about it and they *can't talk about it*
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unbelievable there are so many replies to this saying “u should learn to DGAF”…
your struggle isn’t uncommon at all, it’s only uncommon to talk abt it.
In my experience, for men this is a proxy – it’s about some other shame complex unrelated to concerns of women’s safety.
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appreciate you saying so. i have definitely traced a decent chunk of it back to insecure attachment stuff (so more about e.g. being abandoned than about safety as such). still think there's a nonzero portion that really is about safety but who knows
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i've had a few experiences with women who were uh... very slow to tell me they didn't like something i was doing :/ not a fun position to be in after eventually being told
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Yeah it’s a twofold problem. Our culture first conditions women to not feel comfortable clearly and openly communicating their needs. Then somehow it becomes other peoples’ responsibility to take care of those needs. It’s quite exhausting, for everybody involved.