you don't get to tell me to stop caring about whether i creep women out. it fucking *matters* to me. i *don't wanna fucking do it*. i am *not alone*. i have had a *lot* of private conversations with other men about this. men are *torn up* about it and they *can't talk about it*
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insanely frustrating that we live in a world that 100% validates the fear of being hurt but barely acknowledges that fear of hurting other people exists or could be so intense as to be crippling
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thinking about ways i've hurt women in the past has made me *want to die*
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan @the_aiju and 3 others
like - there was this thread the other day from a woman talking about how her experiences having sex with men were so bad she turned her dissociation into a sexual orientation and reading stuff like that legitimately makes me want to die
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and yeah, i can recognize the parts of this that are not about hurting other people and are about my self-image, etc. i've done some work on this. but i'm not gonna stand for people trivializing this fear
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remember comment 171 and untitled? i have never forgotten
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When I see people really deeply terrified about hurting others, to the point where it's hurting themselves, I get a strong urge to offer myself as someone for them to hurt so they can practice feeling safe causing pain to others
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me and who 😩
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I think Aella might be offering, tbh
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aella lives a thousand miles away now :/
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you can beat me up next time i visit
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i would love to 😅