Conversation

Jakeup
@yashkaf
Creeping people out is burning the commons. Hurting people because you're "just having fun" is burning the commons. And so the people who care about not hurting others have to replant the commons one positive interaction at a time, and it's maddening. On the other hand...
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Jakeup
@yashkaf
On the other hand positive interactions mostly come from skill, not from excess scrupulosity. And when you're skilled at making people happy and safe, it feels like "just having fun" and "not worrying". So there's an important inside/outside view distinction to make here.
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Jakeup
@yashkaf
Replying to
@QiaochuYuan
I'm sorry to hear that this scrupulosity is causing you anxiety. I care a lot about not harming women and put effort into safeguarding against it but this doesn't cause me distress. My tweet was pointing out how what VI said doesn't have to mean that worrying = being a loser.
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Chana
@ChanaMessinger
And like, making it ok to demand it and not just say "yes, you're right, I'm terrible and dumb and unchad and uncool for being worried", which is the shame loop I get into.
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