it’s fucked up that ~99% of the stories i read about men hitting on women are stories of male celebrities getting metoo’d. idk where i’m supposed to be getting role models and positive examples from. any women wanna tell us about a time a man hit on them and they liked it?
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p sure i’ve done multiple previous tweets about this here’s one
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i saw and read a lot about men being creepy growing up (and still do) and the lesson i internalized was to just never hit on women ever. it didn't help that i never saw what *good* flirting was supposed to look like, except in TV / movies and that had its own problems (3/n)
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Doubling down on how real this is. The fear and shame that comes with growing up and internalizing messages is no joke.
It's not the only factor, but it is a huge reason why it took me sooo long to even feel comfortable making eye contact and smiling at people.
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The fear of being a creep weighs on me to this day.
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It was simple. A comfort zone challenge. A way to take baby steps out of my social anxiety. It shouldn’t be a big deal. All I had to do was look people in the eye as they walked past, and smile. That’s it.
Eye contact. Smile.
But holy shit it was hard.
buttondown.email/dudejustloveyo
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Thank you for speaking up about it!
The less space and safety there is in talking about it, the more likely the anger and hurt festers and grows dark.
I ended up lurking some pretty misogynistic blogs looking for a way to feel better in the face of the culture putting me down.
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