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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
QTing a reply since this hit home I relate deeply to this sentiment and have had to do a lot of work in this area, mostly in complete isolation because everyone seems to act as if maleness is inherently violent and even being in proximity to women has the potential to cause harm
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
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you don't get to tell me to stop caring about whether i creep women out. it fucking *matters* to me. i *don't wanna fucking do it*. i am *not alone*. i have had a *lot* of private conversations with other men about this. men are *torn up* about it and they *can't talk about it*
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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
I'm going to be very real and very raw here: I feel like I've been pushing further into a nonbinary conception of myself because being perceived as male and all the cultural baggage that comes with it is too fucking painful
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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
this isn't well understood because social mores demand that men do not discuss their feelings or internal world and many don't realize they can (or that they even have any) until adulthood at which you no longer have any sympathy from anyone because "you're a man"
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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
by and large sensitivity is unattractive, attempting to get better at socializing or relating to women authentically is seen as trying to "pick up" or "hit on", attempting to calibrate your experience is seen as "selfish" or minimizing other's experiences
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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
meanwhile the RETVRN idiots want to redpill you into the stone age and your lefty friends expect you to roll over and laugh when they say "all men are trash" and if you're lucky you just MIGHT manage to scrape by noticing how to do the right things and keeping your mouth shut
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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
this is how hegemonic masculinity reinforces itself through a culture and many young men do not make it out, and instead of suffer the pain they turn hard and manipulative and cruel why do you think PUA exists? all those dudes are sensitive losers who psychopathed themselves
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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
I'm not going to talk about this any further because quite frankly this shit is so real and raw it makes me want to weep, but my point is this: if you see a well-meaning, kind, and sensitive man he has probably suffered deeply trying to navigate this fuck you, we're not trash
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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
one last clarification here, far before this I had already realized that both "masculinity" and "femininity" are so subjective as to mean nothing, this is entirely about the perception of my body which has nothing to do with my actual personhood
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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
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I'm going to be very real and very raw here: I feel like I've been pushing further into a nonbinary conception of myself because being perceived as male and all the cultural baggage that comes with it is too fucking painful
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sadals🪐🔮d
@sadalsvvd
I only take advantage of the fact that I _can_ be perceived amorphously online (in fact my glitching avi is very much about this issue) because strangers are cruel. I am perfectly fine with my "masculine" traits and body among people I trust and love
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