fuck this tweet and fuck you twitter.com/Virtual1nstinc
This Tweet is unavailable.
13
7
139
Conversation
you don't get to tell me to stop caring about whether i creep women out. it fucking *matters* to me. i *don't wanna fucking do it*. i am *not alone*. i have had a *lot* of private conversations with other men about this. men are *torn up* about it and they *can't talk about it*
Replying to
insanely frustrating that we live in a world that 100% validates the fear of being hurt but barely acknowledges that fear of hurting other people exists or could be so intense as to be crippling
6
11
207
thinking about ways i've hurt women in the past has made me *want to die*
Quote Tweet
Replying to @QiaochuYuan @the_aiju and 3 others
like - there was this thread the other day from a woman talking about how her experiences having sex with men were so bad she turned her dissociation into a sexual orientation and reading stuff like that legitimately makes me want to die
4
96
and yeah, i can recognize the parts of this that are not about hurting other people and are about my self-image, etc. i've done some work on this. but i'm not gonna stand for people trivializing this fear
3
80
remember comment 171 and untitled? i have never forgotten
2
1
50
Replying to
I'm really glad to hear that you've talked to other men about this. That warms the cockles of my black heart.
4
Youโre unable to view this Tweet because this account owner limits who can view their Tweets. Learn more
high affective empathy isnt a curse, needs courage
Instead of ruminating about whether something is creepy, you can literally say "I have a dilemma, on the one hand ...etc". People respect honesty where you put your heart on the line. If you do get hurt... better now than later
2
8
Show replies
Replying to
this is going to sound glib but I mean it as a serious object-level question: have you considered, or tried, or considered trying, not caring so much about other people's feelings?
I know it's way easier said than done but I'm not clear on whether you've pursued this path
8
70
(I had to train myself to care less about other people's feelings. I do still care a lot, but I can "turn it off" in some sense, because I have consciously prioritized resisting utility-monster-style manipulation)
39
Replying to
I really appreciate you doing this while still being clear about it mattering that the women you interact with aren't made worse off / hurt. Some of the people who say that there's more affordance than you might think are right, but it sucks to see people dismiss it entirely.
1
17
I know you're speaking about what matters to *you* and it *matters* that that matters to you, but I'm also adding that it makes me feel cared about and safe for it to matter to you. (without claiming that it matters to you the ideal or adaptive amount).
1
19
Show replies