Has anyone been able to make the change from being someone who loses self control when they are angry to being someone who can be collected while angered? How did you make the change?
lots and lots of stuff, it wasn’t one thing. learned a ton about feelings generally, did weird practices like circling (sort of a group meditation), learned about trauma, repeatedly practiced naming feelings (esp. triggered feelings) in the moment to train doing it fast
it helped a lot to learn (experientially) that almost none of the anger i felt in present situations was cleanly about the present, there were all sorts of old past wounds getting triggered, so it’s gotten easier to remember that whoever i’m angry at is not the “real target”