clarifying example: i am comfortable describing honesty as one of my core values - i try to be as honest as i know how, and i want the people close to me to do the same. i am not willing to “compromise” on this, and if i was... how could i still claim it as a value?
i ask people whether they want me to be honest or whether now isn't the time, or i make the judgment call that it isn't the time. i believe in tact and in holding back but i would never e.g. lie to someone to help them feel better
i think most "values clash" is an issue of not understanding, like, what the point of the value is? i view honesty as functional, it's not axiomatically good, it's good for clear comprehensible reasons one can come to systematically understand
when people aren't honest with each other in relationships their thoughts and feelings about the relationship become increasingly misaligned with the reality of the relationship; this sucks in concrete, predictable, understandable ways