what if it's BS but it works anyway?
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what does “works” mean here? i expect at best short-term gains and long-term brittleness, at least for myself personally
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I'm thinking via placebo or something
I am torn on these sorts of "fool yourself until it works" type of things.
Where do you expect the brittleness to come in?
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i worry affirmations risk building a new structure that fights negative self-talk but not in an integrated way. the fight drains energy and the negative self-talk might come back stronger under stress. i would rather integrate the negative self-talking part
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this thread isn’t very clear or detailed but it has part of the thing:
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there can genuinely be a cost to using self-help / mind-hacking / therapeutic / transformative techniques that are okay but not that good; they can sorta help you while also causing subtle forms of damage you have to deal with using better techniques
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a friend of mine recently described “hypersensitivity to bullshit” as a trait of kids with very disorganized attachment and that resonated with me a lot. if i were to try something like affirmations i’d really have to word them carefully to not set off my own bullshit detector
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i guess this is what “you can choose what to say” in tasshin’s tweet is for 😅 sorry tasshin!
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yea the way it works for me is I must only say things that I sincerely believe are true
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yeah this sounds way better phew
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some of mine are things like
The world is bigger and more mysterious than I can know, and it will continue surprise me in unexpected ways
Change is possible
Great things can come from small beginnings
^ little riffs like these nudge me towards a way of being that I enjoy
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yeah I love these! I think that reveals part of what I was pointing to in my custom affirmations thread, namely- you can make your own! There are some tried and true ones but making/finding your own is also beautiful and valid! Thanks for sharing Visa!
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Speaking truths is an important part of it for me as well. You could imagine someone truly unhappy with their life standing in front of a mirror, repeating, "I am happy. I am loved."
Personally, that sounds like invalidating the truth.
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A lot of my growth came from affirming my struggles and suffering. Pretending I was doing ok was becoming an increasingly ineffective strategy.
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I notice it all the time in others, but much less so in myself. (this isn't bc i do it less. its because i dont notice it in myself)
ACTUALLY—this was something I started doing w regards to addiction and depression. At some point I started using these labels straight faced
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