extremely context-dependent for me, depends a lot on what “reward” means and what my relationship is to the person. i think “don’t feed the trolls” is unobjectionable vs. “shower my partner with affection when she does things i like and ignore her otherwise” is emotional abuse
Conversation
There is something wrong with this
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can you clarify / elaborate?
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Just in an interpersonal way. It feels like assigning scores to people and personalities in your brain.
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what do you mean by "it" here?
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Context dependent valuation of friends
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This was not intended as some sort of dunk
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sorry, i'm still not sure i understand what you mean. i'm talking about context-dependent valuation of *behaviors* here (at least i think i am)
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I think that translates into judgment of friends and then things get weird. I don’t think you can say behaviors and then say you’re not judging the people around you. AKA your friends.
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i am really trying to understand here but like i don't understand how you are not, right now, doing the thing you are telling me is bad
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i don't know how to go through life without having opinions about the behaviors of the people around me. some of those behaviors are much better or much worse than others and that seems... important? like...
Right. Have you tried not having opinions of people around you. This is not a shitpost. I think the bar for people is pretty low and when people start talking about context based matrixes for dealing with people it’s a mistake
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