is rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad behavior in humans...
- normal boundary-setting64.6%
- manipulation10.4%
- other (explain)12.5%
- results12.5%
192 votesFinal results
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Conversation
is rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad behavior in humans...
- pavlovian training (good)64.4%
- pavlovian training (bad)2%
- something else (explain)16.8%
- am coward16.8%
101 votesFinal results
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extremely context-dependent for me, depends a lot on what “reward” means and what my relationship is to the person. i think “don’t feed the trolls” is unobjectionable vs. “shower my partner with affection when she does things i like and ignore her otherwise” is emotional abuse
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There is something wrong with this
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i think it should be "shower partner with affection when they do things you like" and "ignore when they do bad things" but not even like "cold shoulder," more like "they said rude thing, dont respond in the moment"
which may still be objectionable
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there's additional nuances here around what you mean by "ignore." big difference between like "don't take her bait" vs. "completely stonewall her emotionally"
yeah, i think the key in animal training is immediacy, stonewalling seems like a longer-term and therefore less effective method
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it's also uh cruel and imo people just shouldn't do it if they can avoid it :S like you could gloss it as neutral but in the context of an intimate relationship it can be a form of punishment if being used deliberately
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yeah I think my crux is that if you explain it explicitly to the other person they shouldn't feel violated
eg: I'd be chill if someone said "I ignore you completely whenever you say 'mildly bigoted thing' because I don't want to encourage it"
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this makes sense!
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