reject the hypothetical in the strongest possible terms, and also it depends a lot
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i think for any given person in any given life situation there are going to be particularly effective leverage points for improving that life situation and sometimes those leverage points will be internal and sometimes they'll be external and the game is to track which
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sometimes you need to break up w/ someone or quit a job
sometimes you need to deal with your feels
sometimes you need to break up w/ someone or quit a job so you can deal with your feels
sometimes you need to deal with your feels so you can break up w/ someone or quit a job