pop culture, i think, gives us a mostly wrong picture of where courage comes from. in pop culture courage often comes from knowing you are the chosen one and/or have superpowers. in my experience i have been the most courageous when i felt most āin the flow of the worldā
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some of the boldest things iāve done are things that didnāt feel like āmeā doing them - mostly the opposite of how pop culture heroes work (with interesting exceptions, eg avatar). it felt like i was āchannelingā something, or like i was āplaying improv with the universeā
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conversely the times in my life i have felt most cowardly (i mean this neutrally) were times i felt most ācut off from the flow of the world.ā alone, isolated, not just from people but also sunlight, water, all good things. canāt hear the music playing so i canāt dance
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maybe one way to say it is that courage is not a thing a person has. it canāt be localized to a person. courage is relational. it is a kind of fitting of a person to the world. that fit is what distinguishes it from recklessness, which does *not* fit to the world
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i have been kind of shocked how much better i feel now than in december, and most of whatās different now is that iām talking to people, about the stuff thatās really on my mind. and theyāre *responding*! with whatās really on *their* mind! thatās the āflow of the worldā for me
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but what it tells me is that
if I make bold, audacious leaps of faith
there will be people who show up quietly behind the scenes to support me
to lend me their strength, their knowledge, their expertise
it's a huge honor and also like a massive societal-level optical illusion
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I mean, this seems to me to be the major advantage of personalizing the transcendent, absolute or however you want to call it - is that it points you to attuning to it like to another person.
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