ADHD is insecure attachment
Conversation
ugh okay i can be more nuanced too: ADHD is a family of coping mechanisms for dealing with insecure attachment. the comorbidity with rejection sensitive dysphoria is a big hint
Replying to
"but QC why don't you think the causality goes the other way, couldn't ADHD mess up your attachment too"
yeah, i'd bet it goes both ways, bidirectional causality rules everything around me 🙃
2
37
this is, as i understand it, a rough summary of gabor mate’s “scattered minds,” which naturally i started and never finished 🙃🙃🙃
Quote Tweet
Replying to @hormeze @aryeh___ and @nuanceexists
oh snap is this the book, "Scattered Minds"?
drgabormate.com/book/scattered
1
20
working on it. currently checking out this online course on attachment repair using this thing they call the ideal parent figure protocol. seems promising but also oof it’s been heavy
attachmentrepair.com/online-courses
1
1
Show replies
Replying to
this totally describes me. it has its benefits and is better than many other (ppl keep telling me about the "akcsphere" that somehow got generated by my constant peripatheticness, but it still was the result of me constantly running away from things) and isn't ideal
3
Replying to
I've had a lot of thinking abt this after both a) running into hurting people with the fast to connect/fast to disconnect ADHD style of interaction and b) getting a glimpse of what it feels like on the other end of an adhd/cPTSD person
(also: twitter.com/egregirls/stat )
Quote Tweet
ADHD with abandonment issues is like: a friend I haven't spoken to in 6 months? of course we're still close, let's catch up! someone I've been only thinking of not talking to me for 2 days? well, it's probably over, they surely hate me now
1
7
at the same time I have pretty stable relationships when I want to, now that I've actually worked thru a bunch of the abandonment and loneliness trauma I've had for a decade. but it requires entangling my life with ppl on a day to day level do I come back to them
1
5
Show replies
boy would you believe i think that other stuff is *also* (often) downstream of insecure attachment (with the possible exception of autism, still real confused about autism)
3
Replying to
(a) it reduces attention spent on rejection b/c you find someone else [so it's a protective mechanism], (b) you don't overinvest in what hurts you [overinvesting makes the pain+opportunity cost much worse], (c) you bounce into others who accept u with minimal effort on your part