Anyways, back to the unhealthy dynamic
I don't act genuine with most people because the downside is very likely, and can be extreme at times. with a very unlikely upside which is perhaps limited
Conversation
My response has been to become extremely introverted. I don't know you. I probably won't like you and you probably won't like me. I won't be able to pursue what I want and need in your company, so just spare me of it
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(Again to play devil's advocate, I am not exactly that helpful beyond what imo is a basic level of help for most people. Not really giving them that much incentive to connect with me either
Maybe this transactional view of things is a part of the problem)
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So, this leads to the other part of the problem
There are a few incredibly rare cases where I meet someone irl who I genuinely want to connect with. People who are talking about things I consider important
Whenever I do see such people, I don't know how to connect with them
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(For context. This is in public places / meet ups)
Like wtf am I supposed to do. Just walk up and say "Hey I loved your ideas" sure thats a good start but then what?
I don't know how I could invite them into my world, nor how I could enter theirs
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Like why would they want to enter my world / life. Sure I like it and it keeps me entertained, but I don't know how other people would fit into it
Hmm.. what if I compare it to twitter?
I do just DM people to say that I love their tweets...
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and we usually do connect through the TL over time. After that we DM more and do private group chats
I don't feel like I have an equal IRL "watering hole" to form bonds over...
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And in most cases people are either way too shy about starting what I consider interesting conversations, or they are just plain bores who don't even want to have an interesting discussion
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(I want to be polite and say that people should enjoy whatever they do enjoy, but I am quite a bit bitter. Is this everything you want? Is this all you are capable of even thinking of? Is that it?!)
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so brief recap / tldr
1. I cant connect with most people due to religious differences, nor am i intersted in that
2. The people I am interested in, I don't know how to connect to as I feel like I'm being needy and a burden with nothing to offer
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Replying to
1. maybe move to a different country?
2. this one is if anything even tougher 😅 ime this is an attachment issue even though it doesn't look romantic. goes real deep. other people telling you you're good mostly doesn't help
Replying to
1. Moving to another country is hard af 😂💔
2. You are right with the attatchement issues. Got any advice on how to deal with it? Been on my list for a long ass time
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2. i am trying out this online course, you can join late and catch up on the videos, seems promising:
attachmentrepair.com/online-courses
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