hmm back to being stressed and exhausted
i *think* it's down to overscheduling myself with social things
i wish socializing could be relaxing :(
Conversation
irl hangouts should be the *most* stressful bc there's transit time + method, and more for me to self-monitor
but being able to wander around seems helpful
ideal seems to be having people over, which i was never really able to do pre-pandemic
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video/audio chat...not sure whether i've built up false negative associations between computers and migraines or whether computers fuck with my head in some other way
pros: i can multitask more freely and only have to monitor voice and maybe shoulders up
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maybe i need to try doing video/audio chat while i wander around?
or maybe it actually feels more disorienting and like being more intensely scrutinized 🤔
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it's gotta help if i learn to shake this feeling of being monitored, and also to stop self-monitoring
tricky business though
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i used to be stressed out bc all i wanted was to be able to join group events and now, high quality problem, i'm invited to more group events than i can handle and i dont know how to prioritize and how many i can sanely take on
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"just dont do it if it's uncomfortable" then i become a hermit and an agoraphobe :) so there has to be some bar, or some other metric
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new experiment:
- leave social events before they're completely over
(i was gonna say "even when not sick!" but sometimes i stay til the bitter end even with a migraine 🙃)
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amazing :o
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Replying to
def started enjoying parties more once i gave myself permission to leave if i wasn’t feeling them
felt less trapped and so forth
I have also found this
have gone to the extent of getting a friend to check with me every couple hours to see if I'm still genuinely enjoying myself or just stuck on inertia and have-another-drink
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oh wholesome!
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