there are four genders and they are secure attachment, anxious / preoccupied attachment, dismissive / avoidant attachment, and disorganized / fearful attachment
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I used to think I was anxiously-attached, then I thought I was disorganized, now... I just don't like this framework.
Maybe I am disorganized in some ways, but I think I'm secure in others and anxious in others. A lot of it seems contextual, wonder how common that is
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Also IME attachment stuff is thoroughly entangled with the seeming of the world and cosmology and stuff
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yeah agreed it’s a whole intertwingled mess in there it seems
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One of the things that happened from tons of circling and meditation is I lost my sense of clarity as to what "healthy" even means in relationships
Like, do I know *any* securely attached people?
Mu.
People seem to have different relationships, with mixes of good and bad stuff
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Being a little extra polemical for fun. I'm actually not sure what's up with all this
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so i think i overindexed on rationalists and circlers wrt this stuff
both of those groups heavily select for people with attachment issues
secure people are doing normal shit like idk chopping down trees and playing with their kids 😅
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Fair, and I might be in a massssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiive bubble where even the most non-rationalist-y non-circle-y people I know are still "fucked up" in this way
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With that said, I see lots of stuff between people who're chopping down trees and playing w their kids that I'm like I dunno is this healthy?
Kinda confused about a good human life looks like, and that's propagated into my sense of what're good relational dynamics
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lots of people doing "normal shit" that actually are missing tons of important stuff. a small minority (?) who're like genuinely thriving
(i'm sure you've thought about this)
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Replying to
yeah that sounds roughly right to me but honestly the sample of people i run into is just so heavily selected in so many ways that maybe i just shouldn’t make any assumptions about what “most” people are like 😅
Is there an existence proof for a person that is actually flourishing?
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Replying to @utotranslucence
Is there an existence proof for a high demand group that is actually good? The closest I can imagine is a monastery that actually has a good track record for people waking up but I don't personally have knowledge of any such.
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