What do you do with people you just don’t like?
Conversation
In most cases I don’t like them because I think they are bullshitting themselves and others on something that is important to them or me and when I try to bring it up they can’t hear it, or get overwhelmed or defensive.
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In most cases I don’t feel a strong pull to connect with them; they are just part of the same circles as me, although that isn’t always the case.
I think we’d just not hang out otherwise, but generally I can’t get out of it that easily.
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I’ve tried ‘debugging why I don’t like them/why we can’t have productive conflict’ exhaustively in the past and I’m over it—I kinda just want the right to not like some people, particularly if they aren’t that important to me.
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And yet I’m not sure what to do.
Politely ignoring them to their faces while talking to others when they frustrate me feels two-faced.
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Continuing to confront why I dislike them in myself feels needy and disrespectful of my own priorities, because lord knows I have other things to confront myself on that matter more to me.
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Continually bringing up that I don’t like them & the reasons why to their face seems honest but cruel af, and also tiring.
Doing it like once, clearly, I could stomach if I thought it would help something. Otherwise it feels pointless if they can’t hear me/only feel insulted.
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What do you do? What do you do when you are at your best? How do the people you most admire handle not liking someone?
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the thing i have actually done is just leave the social situations and possibly groups where i am forced to encounter that person
i stopped commenting on LW like 50-80% because of a single person
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Yeah, and this sucks (at least it does for me). Particularly when it’s someone I don’t hate that much, and the group is one I -really- like or have a stake in.
Is there something you would prefer to do, if you could?
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Replying to
hmm other than trying to process why i don’t like them i could try to process... not sure quite how to word it but something more like what feels possibly not-okay about not liking them? like could i just be chill with not liking them and having to see them occasionally
yeah I think for the most part I just accept a certain amount of this as normal friction / endemic suffering
time has usually sorted it
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