getting back in touch with the fact that i have strong opinions about how to facilitate group conversations and that that might be one of my rarest marketable skills
Conversation
okay hmm i've never tried to articulate any of this in writing before
i think what goes wrong in most unpleasant / unproductive group conversations in practice is that something is happening that most of the group is not bought into but they don't know how to change it
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the simplest example is one person dominating the conversation: interrupting a lot, not allowing others to interrupt them, but also subtler stuff around implicitly setting the topic, setting the agenda, setting the frame, etc.; most people don't know how to talk about this ime
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> implicitly setting the topic, setting the agenda, setting the frame, etc.
I try to do that sort of leading with a soft touch thing, because a lot of my group discussions are supposed to be about something, but most of the people feel the need to waste time on small talk.
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Replying to
well... is it "wasted" tho? if people wanna small talk you can ask yourself (or them!) what they want out of it - do they want to feel closer? do they want to feel out the other people in the group to see how much they like them? then you can have events optimized for *that*
there's like a perspective flip you can make here between
"why don't these assholes want to follow my agenda"
to
"what wants to happen here? what does this group want and how can i help them get it?"
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My perspective is more like, "Why don't these people want to follow my asshole agenda?" Like, I know I'm being selfish and a bit manipulative.