really weird how you describe a problem you’re having and then people try to help you with that problem 🤔🤔🤔 i don’t really get it yet but thank you
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this is a whole other thing to get into some other time but it continues to viscerally confuse me when people are nice to me
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oh, i guess more specific than this: it viscerally confuses me when people are nice to me *after i have revealed myself to be incompetent*
it does ‘t confuse me when people are nice to me after i have done a cool thing
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uuugh this is too real
inconsistent reward from primary caregivers in childhood => child tries to figure out what causes inconsistency, using magical thinking => "reward goes away when I am not good enough" => carry this belief through life
pretty sick of it tbh
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You seen the ideal parent figure protocol stuff? Learning it now, and seems good for this kind of thing. Just jam in a few false memories here and there...
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a little, yeah! I will look more into it, thanks
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fwiw i personally am uncomfortable with relating to them as "false memories"
would much prefer "imagined alternatives"
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yeah, that sounds like what happens in some intense IFS sessions, where both young me and grown me are there, and "imagined alternative" is much more what it feels like
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