hmm just heard from a teacher in an online course to avoid trauma processing until you have secure attachment which 🤔 big if true
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but like how do secure attachment without processing trauma I don't get it
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they do this thing called the "ideal parent figure protocol" instead which is basically where you imagine an ideal parent figure parenting you in all the good ways instead of the bad ways, and and i are checking out a course on it:
attachmentrepair.com/online-courses
like, as opposed to diving into traumatic past experiences with your real parents
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are you defining trauma processing as processing past exp with your parents/people who felt hurt by? Because yeah then definitely. I think most ppl would think self-parenting == trauma processing
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oh so a secure attachment with yourself counts, that makes more sense at least
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I was "big if true" until you explained this and then I realised this is more or less what I'd been doing the whole time anyway 🤭
Good job autopilot
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Oh that is neat!
I wound up with a similar practice but a from a flipped perspective - best way I've found to mitigate negative self-talk is to imagine saying the words in my head to a child I was caring for - it makes needlessly cruel or negative framing stick out a mile wide
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Exactly. 'Treat yourself like someone you're supposed to be looking after.'
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I think this is quite precisely why I became so interested in prayer after reading this book about Aquinas and the second-person perspective in joint attachment
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I would like to write something about how I’ve found God to be a very interesting and useful entity to relate to but it’s kind of weird. It started with a book recommended to me about a new metaphor for understanding Aquinas’s modification of Aristotelian virtue ethics
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I did this by accident in the right order, I read “Doing School” to see what normal high achieving kids lives looked like, then How to Raise an Adult to see the other side (the good parent). Changed me permanently for the better.
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Whoa yeah this is something that happened to me a couple years ago.
Thinking about it further, a lot of my growth has been involving attachment and insecurity about abandonment/being liked 🤔
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I discovered IFS when I was struggling to quit weed and vaping at the same time. I was daydreaming and ended up role playing what a compassionate father would do with me in this situation. We negotiated and he believed in me. We agreed he would throw out my weed and vape
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