sorry i’m gonna opt out of this conversation again, i haven’t put a finger on it yet but whatever you’re doing it is making things worse
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like... my system experiences you as trying to argue me out of having a feeling because you’re convinced you know the feeling is wrong and what the right feeling should be
that does not work for me. it just makes me resist the feeling instead of accepting it
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icymi
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
entirely up to you, of course, but it's an honest question from a place of genuine curiosity. I'm not trying to trap you or anything, I genuinely wanna know what you think
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yeah appreciate it. the question still feels like a trap tho even if you didn’t intend it that way
maybe some bad past experiences with people who used questions as traps (ah shit i think i might know who this is)
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if it helps i can try to reassure you by constructing you a 100-tweet thread of quote tweets of all the times I ask innocent curious questions, both in the abstract, and in conversations 😅
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lmao i am 100% qc in this convo. exact same emotional reactions
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huh, this is so strange to me. i wonder if there's a cultural thing I'm missing
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tone of voice would help smooth this over a lot
but like i had to deal with people in e.g. the rationalist community who were in the habit of using leading questions as traps to sort of force you into either agreeing with them or denying some principle of reasoning
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e.g. (this is a poorly constructed example) “you agree that X is bad right? and you agree that Y could lead to X right? so obviously you agree with me that Y is bad, checkmate”
i bet you’ve seen people do this online
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yeah I hate it and I have basically rearranged my life in opposition to it – part of why I am as prolific as I am is to demonstrate via proof-of-work that I am genuinely curious to understand other people's perspectives and experiences
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👍
don’t worry too much about this specific example i was already on edge from a bunch of other stuff coming into this 😅
idk when is the right time to go back to it but if you can hear me ask the last question with love – I won't say it again here in case it's triggering but – the honest answer to that will be genuinely interesting and potentially useful IMHO
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I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, or that your feeling is right or wrong, but I do think that articulating whatever comes up will be super valuable
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