Like, does it become overwhelming / disgusting to let yourself savor the moment-to-moment embodied experience of...
- a really lush texture, maybe soft / fuzzy / satin, or flower petal
- a fragrance you enjoy
- a resonant song on good headphones / speakers
?
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yes. every sensation is overwhelming when i tune into it
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Oho! This sounds like a very useful discovery!
What do you want to do, in relation with that experience?
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never feel any sensations ever :[
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Hmm... ever tried one o' them floaty tanks?
(Not as a solution - more like, when you have minimal sensory input, how's that for you?)
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twice. they’re too warm :/
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Unsatisfactory!
(Don't think I want to jump straight into cessation vs. nonrenunciate Buddhism, because I've got another thought coming up - but open to it)
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Hrrrm. Bruh is it possible that you have like...
Like if people w/o much trauma, might have like a smooth distribution of sensation intensity (probably a power law dist?)
What if you had 2 opposing forces, that ended up making like... an emotional geyser?
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hmm if i had to make up a story it would be like... i’ve dissociated from strong sensations generally for so long that my system just hasn’t learned which ones are safe or unsafe to experience so it perceived them all as threats by default
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Have you tried finding... neutral sensations?
Like, dipping your finger in a cup of lukewarm water?
Trying different temps til you find the lukewarmiest?
I wonder if that might build some experience of "nonthreat"...
blandquest 2021
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hmmmmm this is kind of a fun idea
perfect lol
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