I would say “how do you know you want” is the wrong question. My nephews want things and they don’t always know that they want them. Knowing and wanting are separate things
Conversation
like it might be like
“I want to go swimming!”
“How do you know you want to go swimming?”
“??? I... just want!”
reasoning, if there is any, is introduced after the fact. “Because.... because it is a hot day and I want to feel cold” - but he didn’t notice it was hot before
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reasoning is not the thing i’m asking about, it’s more like... i’m pretty sure it *feels like something* to want to go swimming, e.g. maybe if the kid pays attention to their experience they notice a sensation of being “pulled towards the water”
i’m asking about that
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the phenomenology of desire, not the logic
maybe this is a confusing question but i am coming from a background of having my wants deeply suppressed by my parents and they tend to hide under large piles of conditioning and suffering
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if your favorite food was in front of you, what does it feel like, and how does your brain react over the next 5 or so micro-decisions?
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hmm interesting question. honestly it’s pretty muted. there’s like a kind of “oh good, my favorite food” and then i eat it on autopilot
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Hm I actually have a thought for you. Do you like tea? This can be done with food too I guess but in my head works better with tea.
Make time for yourself like 15-30m with no external distractions. Brew a cup of nice tea. Don't just start drinking it. Hold it, smell it.
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And pay attention to what you're sensing andd feeling. What you're looking for is the feeling of 'I want to take a sip'. When you don't habitually make yourself drink then if you find yourself lifting the cup and sipping that feeling was somewhere in there, just need to notice.
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If you get it you could actually hold the actual drinking back for a couple moments and watch the want.
If you don't get it and don't end up drinking any of the tea, just kinda look at how you feel about tossing it out? Maybe it's not that good and you didn't want to drink it.
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Also ties back to the first question: for me sitting down with a cup of good tea and just savouring it calmly at whatever speed I desire is very restful.
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all tea is bad except for one specific brand i tried once and couldn't find again :/