i suppressed them out of unsatisfied desire. turning them up again inevitably brings old suffering to the forefront anew. that's why im waiting to do psychedelics for a while and also why i started smoking. i wonder if this is similar for QC
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yeah this. for most of the past idk 7 years thinking about / trying to access what i want has been incredibly painful
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u gotta microdose the suffering, like doing physiotherapy to learn to walk again
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yeah i think this approach is complicated. might lead to short-term progress but sort of tangle other things up
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Like what? If you go slow and small enough you’ll see the tangles before anything breaks. Like when you pull on a wire that’s tangled with others and then you notice another wire getting taut. That’s useful information
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(youre a mathematician lmao you should be way better at this than me, or def otherwise have the capacity to be 💪🏾)
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idk man all i can report is that even when i try to go slow and small i’m not convinced i’m going slow enough and small enough
feels like you are making this process out to be easier than it has been for me and that makes me feel dumb
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Simple, not easy
It can take years to learn how to walk again
You’re not dumb, you’re scared
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you’re easily smarter than me- and, with love-
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you can’t think your way out of a courage deficit
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still feel both dumb and scared
well it’s good to feel *something*
take dumb and scared out on a walk and ask them what’s up
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write a journal entry or do a video log yelling “I am a scaredy scared dum dum” and keep going as long as you can and see what happens
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