if you don't feel you want something then you don't want anything, simple as
desires are self-evident
go sit down and stare at the wall until there is something that you find undesirable about that condition, then investigate what could possibly be better than staring at a wall
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One of things Marie Kondo mentions when talking about “Spark Joy” is this idea that... for a lot of people, when they touch their things, they don’t even really have any feelings at all. It’s “just stuff”, and they have to *practice* feeling the feelings. Turning up the voltage
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basically if you have suppressed your feelings you need to practice feeling them again. it’s like wiggling numb fingers or toes. I’m kinda surprised you’re asking these 101 questions, didn’t you make some breakthroughs with sobsquad and so on...?
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yeah this. for most of the past idk 7 years thinking about / trying to access what i want has been incredibly painful
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u gotta microdose the suffering, like doing physiotherapy to learn to walk again
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yeah i think this approach is complicated. might lead to short-term progress but sort of tangle other things up
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Like what? If you go slow and small enough you’ll see the tangles before anything breaks. Like when you pull on a wire that’s tangled with others and then you notice another wire getting taut. That’s useful information
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(youre a mathematician lmao you should be way better at this than me, or def otherwise have the capacity to be 💪🏾)
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idk man all i can report is that even when i try to go slow and small i’m not convinced i’m going slow enough and small enough
feels like you are making this process out to be easier than it has been for me and that makes me feel dumb
Simple, not easy
It can take years to learn how to walk again
You’re not dumb, you’re scared
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you’re easily smarter than me- and, with love-
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you can’t think your way out of a courage deficit
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What would you need, in order for (that part of) you to know & trust that you're going slow & small enough?
How can you tell?
Is it like --
"nothin, nothin, nothin... WHOOOP TOO MUCH SHUT DOWN!!"
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yeah. like i just don’t know how to calibrate except that i have a rough sense of how much intensity provokes a backlash but the backlash can be delayed by weeks or months so it’s hard to update off that
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