if you don't feel you want something then you don't want anything, simple as
desires are self-evident
go sit down and stare at the wall until there is something that you find undesirable about that condition, then investigate what could possibly be better than staring at a wall
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One of things Marie Kondo mentions when talking about “Spark Joy” is this idea that... for a lot of people, when they touch their things, they don’t even really have any feelings at all. It’s “just stuff”, and they have to *practice* feeling the feelings. Turning up the voltage
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basically if you have suppressed your feelings you need to practice feeling them again. it’s like wiggling numb fingers or toes. I’m kinda surprised you’re asking these 101 questions, didn’t you make some breakthroughs with sobsquad and so on...?
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(referring to QC)
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the breakthroughs were in different directions than this
or shallower layers than this idk
think i have old stuff to work through here
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I would say “how do you know you want” is the wrong question. My nephews want things and they don’t always know that they want them. Knowing and wanting are separate things
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like it might be like
“I want to go swimming!”
“How do you know you want to go swimming?”
“??? I... just want!”
reasoning, if there is any, is introduced after the fact. “Because.... because it is a hot day and I want to feel cold” - but he didn’t notice it was hot before
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reasoning is not the thing i’m asking about, it’s more like... i’m pretty sure it *feels like something* to want to go swimming, e.g. maybe if the kid pays attention to their experience they notice a sensation of being “pulled towards the water”
i’m asking about that
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the phenomenology of desire, not the logic
maybe this is a confusing question but i am coming from a background of having my wants deeply suppressed by my parents and they tend to hide under large piles of conditioning and suffering
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if your favorite food was in front of you, what does it feel like, and how does your brain react over the next 5 or so micro-decisions?
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hmm interesting question. honestly it’s pretty muted. there’s like a kind of “oh good, my favorite food” and then i eat it on autopilot
You can manually undo the muting by mindfully savouring the pleasure of each bite
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i’ve occasionally tried doing this and the experience of having food in my mouth becomes overwhelming / disgusting so i stopped 😕
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sidebar: you're sort of meta-asking "how do humans solve the is-ought gap for ourselves?" and I think a kind of profound answer is that we just kinda yolo from "this is what I'm feeling" to "this is how I am going to react", forming a post-hoc rationalizations for most/all action
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yep, there is always ultimately a leap of faith. you can work your way up to bigger leaps from smaller ones, but there is no way to do this without risk or fear of vulnerability
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I've been watching Into The Spider-Verse repeatedly over and over again lately, and I think one of my favorite things about it is how it articulates the Leap of Faith (might be a Kierkegaard reference)
How do you know it'll work out? You won't! Welcome to life
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Hm I actually have a thought for you. Do you like tea? This can be done with food too I guess but in my head works better with tea.
Make time for yourself like 15-30m with no external distractions. Brew a cup of nice tea. Don't just start drinking it. Hold it, smell it.
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And pay attention to what you're sensing andd feeling. What you're looking for is the feeling of 'I want to take a sip'. When you don't habitually make yourself drink then if you find yourself lifting the cup and sipping that feeling was somewhere in there, just need to notice.
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