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There’s something in this that connects why people stop feeling passion in committed relationships to why people stop loving their passions when they turn them into jobs.

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in the wilderless

@the_wilderless

· Feb 1, 2021

Cuz they’d taken something they loved, something meaningful to them, and they’d come to *depend* on it for their income. Which made them hate it and resent it when it was hard.

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•Jess• •10/100 recorded songs•

@utotranslucence

Feb 1, 2021

In Passionate Marriage Schnarch says that in order to keep a marriage alive your differentiation needs to keep pace with how important your partner is to you. Feels like I could ctrl-f-replace relationship with career here and it would 100% explain my problems with work.

•Jess• •10/100 recorded songs•

@utotranslucence

Feb 1, 2021

Something like—to stay yourself when in intimate connection with something (work) you have to be able to hold onto yourself and self-soothe as the stakes get higher. Otherwise you shut down and shut off precisely when things get more important to you.

•Jess• •10/100 recorded songs•

@utotranslucence

Feb 1, 2021

I am saying this mostly to myself, mostly because I’m in awe of the idea that being like Schnarch describes is even possible... Have a lot of work to do.

in the wilderless

@the_wilderless

Feb 1, 2021

Yeaaaah I can feel my neurons trying to rewire around this thread... and I’m trying to stop them, cuz I have enough to chew on with Work stuff right now, putting relationship into the frame to early feels like a risk of collapsing everything 😆

in the wilderless

@the_wilderless

Feb 1, 2021

Does Twitter have a !remind me function where this can come back to me in like 6 months? I’ll just bookmark and hope.

QC (in Berlin 7/29-??? w/ COVID

Replying to

and

there’s a bot but iirc it’s defunct

6:51 AM · Feb 1, 2021Twitter for iPad