Aren't the things that make you special and 'you' all the ways in which you're open, but also all the ways in which you are closed ?
Wouldn't opening your mind to more and more of the world and taking it in 'as is' ammount to losing yourself within it ?
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you’re part of the world too!
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True !
Just afraid that moving forward might inevitably mean; 'understanding what you despise and to truly understand is to accept, changing you into this grey, symmetrical and balanced thing'
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in my experience it's if anything exactly the opposite: the more stuff i accept the more i become myself, if that makes sense
because i'm no longer using up part of my energy rejecting the thing
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otoh i think i have also accepted stuff before i was ready to, in the sense that accepting it sort of twisted me around into rejecting other stuff 😅 tricky to accept things in the "appropriate order"
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Ah see now that's more like 'change' ! Like rearranging your own shape and perhaps decluttering useless noise and artefacts in your personality painting :)
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What makes a painting readable, what makes it 'something' and understandably different from other things is at the core; contrast.
Light spots are openings, shadow is closed space; if it were all light then it would be nothing.
Maybe that's good ? Not wanting to be anything ? twitter.com/temeton_blue/s…
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hmm it's genuinely hard to tell what's "useless" tho. i've mostly had more luck holding an attitude of not knowing what the use is but assuming there is one, which may or may not be relevant anymore