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Jan 28, 2021

twitter.com/Aryeh___/statu I think this is an important piece of the puzzle. Being alone makes us more sensitive to rejection- brain rewires to avoid rejection by reinforcing isolation - isolation increases loneliness

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Hormeze

@hormeze

· Nov 12, 2019

The main take away (for me) from both books mentioned in the video is that loneliness becomes chronic by altering our perception. This was consoling and exciting to learn- altering perception is one of my favorite parts of being a body-mind.

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Hormeze

@hormeze

Jan 28, 2021

I think discomfort with uncertainty is a big factor too, depression makes it hard to be optimistic about outcomes. Conversation is an act of faith in the face of uncertainty and that becomes scarier and scarier as faith in self and other dwindles

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jan 28, 2021

Slightly awkward silences suddenly yawn as wide as canyons, the three floating dots feel like lobbed grenades. The brain replays the rough parts over and over reinforcing the process. And we don't wanna harsh the vibe (what if we get rejected) so it festers in the dark

I'm sure

has some cool insights about the relationship between shane and isolation

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jan 28, 2021

i think what ur describing is real- but is only part of the equation, the depressive part of the cycle. the other half is the opposite- people are way too real- and thats also destructive. ppl cycle between these extremes and then hit walls

QC (in Berlin 7/29-??? w/ COVID

)

@QiaochuYuan

Jan 28, 2021

ooh can you say more about "people are way too real"?

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jan 28, 2021

one part of it is that the stakes can become insanely high when for example having a first conversation in a month with someone. a compliment comes with suffocating pressure, a joke has too many meanings, an awkward goodbye can feel like a relationship is ending

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jan 28, 2021

i think the brains ability to model social interactions is a skill like idk fighting the octagon- even the best fighter who hasn't fought in a year will start slipping up, cant ride his nerves into victory like he used to. look at McGregor's recent loss. imo that was nerves

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jan 28, 2021

i think its also kind of like a gamer getting used to scripted rpg dialogue entering into like a high school debate scenario, for people spending months binging netflix and then trying to interact over the zoom. same screen widely different script

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jan 28, 2021

some create a safer virtual reality inside of the four corners of lockdown and bringing something as insanely complex and unpredictable as a separate human being can feel very overwhelming after enough time

QC (in Berlin 7/29-??? w/ COVID

Replying to

and

woof yeah this hits too

8:37 PM · Jan 28, 2021Twitter Web App

Replying to

and

one thing that has really helped me and some of my friends is making dedicated parts of a call where we kvetch, vulnerably complain about wats happening in our internal world. then the complaints enters the external world and mixes w/our friends kvetching. feels holy and intimate

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jan 28, 2021

the performed okayness and denial that has been almost perfected in 2020 is essential and helpful for a lot of people but comes at a great cost. people are afraid to burst the bubble

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