maybe also worth saying explicitly: lockdown is really insanely fucked up. i have been suffering and going crazy and probably you have too. it is not remotely normal. please keep that in mind when you're wondering why everything seems so bad or you have so little energy
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i thought i knew how bad this was going to be based on how isolated i kept myself during grad school and it's been worse actually. even grad school was punctuated by the occasional party or workshop. it turns out there's a huge difference between 1 party every 3 months and zero
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there's also a huge difference between being locked down with people you like and can be intimate around vs. not. i have not touched another human since probably august and god knows what that's done to me but it hasn't been good
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thanks to for reminding me of this, i think the way he put it was something like "you are living in a situation that if it were forced upon you would violate the geneva conventions"
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Trauma anniversaries are a thing your body might experience even if your mind is not thinking about it. Be extremely kind to yourself this week.
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