in college i took a class on special relativity and did more poorly than i wanted to and felt vaguely bad about it and i think that might be why i haven’t made any attempt to learn relativity since even though i grew up reading about it constantly
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wow the big bang is a pretty wack concept actually huh
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dark matter is pretty wack too jeez
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ya
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I think my protracted difficult experiences pushing through higher education falsely conditioned me to expect any and all attempts at growth and Learning to be plagued by the same exhausting struggles and futility I faced there.
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so many feelings about physics. studied it in undergrad, totally burnt out, only didn't switch to religious studies because it was faster to take the pity BA.
years later did a masters in math but research was on relativity. the block was all emotional, it's not impossible
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all of my feelings that i could notice were about people for so long that it was a revelation when i learned people could have feelings about other things
remember one time when learned people can have feelings about money
and then was like "oh duh"
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