I want to have good things, like friends, and love, and Independence, but maybe I just do not have the skills to have these things yet.
Maybe I need to keep growing a bit longer before I can have any of those, I'm sorry for trying to soon.
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The trauma version of this is that I am broken and deserve to be unloved. I am only hurting people trying to be have those things right now. I should just suffer alone so everyone else can be safe from me, and that way I won't hurt anyone I care about again.
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I am trying not to think of it in the trauma version, but it's hard.
When someone tells you they got hurt because you are bad at things, are they always right? It feels very wrong to even question it, but it dosen't feel fair to me. Are you allowed to think it's wrong?
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When you get hurt it's natural to assume something hurt you, but sometimes you hurt yourself with something? Sometimes there are mutual accidents? It does not feel right to question someones judgment of that, but also I really didn't think I was bad, do I have to be bad again ;;
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you are right! sometimes people hurt themselves and sometimes there are mutual accidents and it doesn't mean you're a bad person! (it took me a long time to even kind of actualy believe this tho)
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But what f they are telling you that you specifically hurt them and asking you to stop?
if they are saying that when you dont know what you did wrong, you dont know how to stop. I dont want to hurt them again but I dont know what Im doing, I dont know what Im supposed to be doing
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hopefully you can ask them what they'd like you to stop doing and then ideally stop doing that (depending on what it is), if they aren't willing to or don't know how to elaborate then that is very unfortunate :/ hard to say without knowing more details, feel free to DM tho
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