I... don't know how to answer this. It seems self evident to me that hurting others is bad. If I try to explain it it's circular. Hurting others is bad because then others are hurt. Idk
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yeah but either you intended to do this, in which case, goal accomplished
or you tried and failed. I guess I get it if it's complete carelessness but at some point it's just a possible risk if you affect others
is this a problem about imbalanced emotial space ideas
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does it feel scary to leave a lasting change in other people
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this feels like outflow from wanting to minimize your own emotional space around others, to be invisible, to leave no trace
if you're bold or ask for things or change people you're now Responsible and that's scary, others can get upset at you about it
"it's safer not to"
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I can't say I get that
Honestly at least I know what the fuck is going on in my head. I trust that a hell of a lot more than most others, so I feel a general sense of being a good presence in others lives
if I fuck up, oh well, it happens. I tried (hopefully). all human, etc.
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this is, in a way, constructed from the way I see people talk about things and act though
and there's a lot of people who have trouble having a core or standing up for anything at all cuz that paints them as a target, largely to their own trauma within their mind
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(I wonder if the fear of "cancel culture" is a projection of that for some people? I don't even know what you'd need to do to get cancelled. I hurt people, crossed boundaries, several people at different points in my life thought I was abusive/manipulative... it didn't affect me)
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the guy who gaslit me got canceled in the rationalist community hard enough that he moved to hawaii and everybody stopped talking to him with like maybe 2 exceptions
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but he was like unusually unlikable and creepy in a bunch of ways so very extreme case i guess