what if i just didn't do anything important ever
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i occasionally fantasize about being thrown into jail or similar because then (i imagine) i wouldn't have to deal with the constant background low-level guilt over wasting time, not "living up to my potential," etc. it would be in some sense a relief to have my options taken away
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Covid lockdown had this effect on many of my friends.
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i was already like this before from grad school lol