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i occasionally fantasize about being thrown into jail or similar because then (i imagine) i wouldn't have to deal with the constant background low-level guilt over wasting time, not "living up to my potential," etc. it would be in some sense a relief to have my options taken away
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i have been playing a very bad mobile game and it has been showing me uncomfortable things about my soul. there is some kind of very deep-seated "completionism" thing going on. i want so badly to be "done" (with my homework??? πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”)
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