extremely off-brand but i am going to experiment with seeing if i can just decide to not be depressed
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ok, ok, ok, in a matching tone i have a thing to try
but i want to know if you want half-baked advice first
because i dont want to be a dick
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appreciate the warning, go for it
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ok, so you were kinda describing being depressed, and basically not knowing what to do with yourself even if you tried "not being depressed"
but by default, people just know what they want next
like there's a "place" they look, and just know. Future actions seem valuable or not
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if/when that's not your experience, I pose, it means some piece of you is doing something to *keep you* from knowing what you want, what would be good or feel right or whatever.
So: Who or what in you doesn't want you to know what you want, and why?
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To be real specific -- as much as it feels otherwise, your knowledge of what's worth is not *quite* something that you achieve.
It's something that you stop forbidding yourself to know.
((ofc: ymmv, ianal, side effects similar to sugar pill, etc etc)
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Replying to
hmm i mean i buy that this is a thing in general and it could be happening rn but i think it’s more that everything seems super hopeless, like i can’t think of any actions to meaningfully improve my situation that wouldn’t be super obnoxiously hard like just moving out of cali
Replying to
that sounds totally reasonable right up to "super obnoxiously hard"
like if it's really the only way to make things more fine
and you really need to make things more fine
and you really stably know all of that
then the necessary plan will be tiring, maybe, but not that hard
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i don’t stably know anything 😬
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Don't confuse "this is too hard to reasonably achieve" with "I don't want this"
e.g. what I Really Want is total immortality for me & my family
which is considerably harder to achieve, but my life has improved since actively taking steps to pursue that goal, vs feeling stuck